Well, here we are. Still sick, still not enough platelets, and still no light at the end of the tunnel.
I finished my fourth and final round of Rituximab (or Rituxan) this morning, with my platelets still showing no signs of rising any time soon.
Again, the splenectomy got brought back up. If my platelets still don't go up within the next 2-3 weeks, I might have to say goodbye to my spleen, and even then it's only a 60-70% chance that removing my spleen will even work. So that's a crazy statistic. Knowing my luck, I would be the percentage where it wouldn't work.
Overall, my rituximab experience went well. Obviously, besides the fact that it hasn't worked for me. (Yet... Hopefully) But I had no negative reactions to the drug, which is what I had originally been worried about. The nurses were all really lovely, and all made me feel confident and comfortable. So even though it hasn't worked like they hoped it would, I'm at least happy that I've tried it and that I at least had a positive experience with it. And hey, there is still hope that it could still work.
My platelet levels are still hovering around the 20's, which is still in the 'danger zone'. Which means still no work and it mean's I definitely wouldn't have been okay to go on my Europe trip. Even though it's depressing that right now I was meant to be living it up in London, there's no way it would have been worth the risk of going over there and having something happen while away. Plenty of time for adventures when I eventually get better, I guess.
I have a lot of time on my hands these days, which is one of the reasons that I started this blog in the first place. It not only gave me something to do, and a way to not only vent but to help myself remember my journey, but also a way for other people to learn about the ups and the downs of ITP.
I've been told I'm one of the more 'difficult patients' because none of the treatments have been working for me. It's not always good being different, that's for sure!
If anything, what I’ve been facing at this stage in my life has given me more of a reason to start my blog. It is just the kick up the butt I need to keep me occupied rather then crawl into a ball, pull myself away from all the things I love and feel sorry for myself like everyone would expect, and probably understand if I did.
I went from feeling on top of the world and having a stable job that I enjoyed, a Europe trip fully booked and paid for and was planning my wedding, to having it all taken away one by one. Or at least, put on hold.
Some days it's hard to be positive.
But hey, I still have 2-3 weeks before I have to worry about whether or not they want to take out my spleen. So until then, lets try grow some platelets, right?
I bet you're glad you aren't me right now.
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